Anyone looking to get ahead in their career will have been counselled repeatedly on the importance of networking. A small industry of self-help books has been built up around this advice, with the myriad of titles easily found in any bookstores. Yet networking to benefit one’s career has proven to be much easier said than done, as Professor Yonghoon Lee of the Department of Management recounted at a recent Business Insights luncheon.

“Researchers have found there are two kinds of networks in real life. In ‘closed’ networks, your friends are friends with each other, which makes them good for mobilising collective action and building trust and reputation but not so good for obtaining new information. In ‘open’ networks, your friends do not know each other and you are the one controlling the flow of information between groups, which offers entrepreneurial opportunities to act on that information.

“The burning question is, can people strategically build these networks? The emerging consensus of the research is that it is actually quite difficult,” Professor Lee said – although he is among those pointing to a way.

Three main problems hamper networking. First, people have little control over the social relationships between others. Second, people tend to feel guilty about strategically socialising, which makes it difficult to go to a party with the intention of networking (see a recent Harvard Business Review article). And third, acting instrumentally can produce a backlash as others perceive you to be manipulative and selfish.

Even when networking succeeds in securing you a job or promotion, there can be issues. If a network contact makes a referral that leads to a job, you will feel an obligation to that person and over time may have to share the benefits or credit that you gain. Or there could be potential disappointment if that person is not supportive once you take up the job.

Nonetheless, Professor Lee, who has been studying networking among professionals and K-pop (Korean Pop music) songwriters, argues that people still can benefit from networking if they know when to initiate the right kind of network.

There are three different networking stages in one’s career, and different networks for each. In the first stage, “it’s early in your career and you’re a nobody, which means you need the support from other people close by. The best thing you can do is expand your network but within your own group because these are the people who will support you and carry you,” he said.

The second stage is the interim career stage – you know what your job is and what needs to be done. “In contrast to the first case where you try to expand your relationships, at this stage it’s better to sit at your desk and work rather than socialise and go partying. But you cannot lose the connections that support you so you should cultivate a small set of friends who will protect you from being left out and at the same time help you to economise your time and energy.”

Finally, the third stage is when you become an established player, such as an associate manager or partner. Now is the time to ramp up your networking in the popularly-understood meaning of that word.

“You have become ‘the insider’ and you can make a choice. Others will come to you for work, advice or requests and you can take them as they come – you can enjoy that. But that may not help you further advance your career.

“What you really need to do is be more selective about your network. First you should be selective about numbers – you don’t have time for everyone. Second you should avoid connecting with people your contacts already know because these people are not going to give you fresh ideas. Lastly, you should try to spread your network more evenly to avoid becoming over-dependent on specific relationships that leave you stuck,” he said.

Professor Lee added that it was important to avoid the trap of thinking that you can control your relationships, when you cannot. Attempting to do so may not only be a waste of time, it could harm your reputation.

“Trying to be strategic in building your networks early in your career simply doesn’t work. Maybe it’s better for you to just relax and socialise with your own group and make sure you have their support. Then, once you become an established player, you will have the resources, power and legitimacy to be more selective.

“It also helps to have the mindset of what you can give to this social relationship, rather than simply what you can get out of it,” he added.